I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
