not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
