So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
