Are we in a gay sports bar?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
