Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
