I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
