dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
