She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize