This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
