Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
