I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
