"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
