i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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