he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
