you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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