I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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