Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
