singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
