I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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