i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
