Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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