Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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