first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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