yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
