It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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