he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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