The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
