Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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