So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
