actually, I'm a sock model
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
