So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
