no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
A bitchslap is in order.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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