i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
