I am puke
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
