I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
