Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
