You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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