Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
