yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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