how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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