Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
