have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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