yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
