Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
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