He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
...so i touched it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
