sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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