Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's blow job season.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
