Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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