This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
