My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
