Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
